Let’s break on through

This post is an attempt to break through my writer's block. It started months ago, but I never expected it to last this long. I was in a rut personally, and the days just ran together. My breathing problems kept me inside almost all of the time. I was frustrated every day because I couldn’t string enough random thoughts and ideas into something that I couldn’t write about.

I started punishing myself without realizing it. I had trouble sleeping when the days just ran together; I procrastinated picking up my iPad and MacBook, so I tried typing on my iPhone, which never worked very well. So today I am writing on my iPad and in a comfortable, reassuring place. Relaxation comes slowly as I start this new routine, and I hope it works out for the best. 

I'm implementing changes to my writing as well. I will write without a deadline, especially a self-imposed one. Too many False starts with that approach, so I won't try to be an online reporter with immediate responses to the latest online infoporn trend. I realize that, especially now, as I slowly get started writing again, I need to take a no-time-limit approach to my writing. I hate being rushed since my brain suffered some damage due to my other health issues over the last several years. Even a short period of concentration on writing wears me out, and I have to rest. 

I look back at my last job, working with the US Navy as a contractor, and I know it would be physically and mentally impossible to do that job anymore. The mental demands are one of the main things that wore me down in the first place. I lasted 15 years on that job, answering to people with stars on their shoulders who always wanted answers fast and accurate.

Words come in short, frantic bursts in my mind, and I struggle to keep up. Then writer's block comes back like the tide, and I feel overwhelmed again. 

I recently started taking and posting pictures of our cats, especially Jordan, who becomes a camera hog when the mood hits him. Unfortunately, he only has those moods on rare occasions. 

I have a confession to make. I'm typing right now on my iPhone again because I'm out with Hal while he is shopping. Well, dictating, to be honest. I'm using voice recognition software to transcribe my thoughts into the computer. It's convenient, but I can only do it when I'm alone. I don't want everybody else hearing what's on my mind.

Using Grammarly for my dictation is both a challenge and a joy. I like to think I can write, but I make too many grammatical mistakes, and thankfully, Grammarly is here to correct me. It does make editing much easier than going through and trying to remember all the rules myself. I don't want to lose my personal touch in my writing, but I do want it to come across as correct and enjoyable for the reader.

When I finish dictating a paragraph and there are only a couple of errors, I feel like I have accomplished something. However, when they get really bad, I have to go back and make multiple changes. That is when it gets frustrating, but I know the effort is worth it.

Dictate, read, edit, copy, paste, repeat. That is my method right now as I try to get my writing up and going again. Everything seems to be happening more smoothly than it has in the past, and I hope this is the beginning of a brand-new chapter.

I'm learning to be grateful for everything that I write down, period. Dictating, writing, it is all the same when you look at the end product. I have to accept my own limitations and work from there to get better.